Baby Smackdown

The twins have reached that delightful age where they have turned our living room into the newest version of the Ultimate Fighting Championship fight ring. If one has a toy, a cup, or just looks at the other the wrong way, a slew of hitting, kicking, punching, yelling, screaming, biting, eye-gouging, and various below-the-(diaper)-belt tactics ensue. I can try to separate them, but they will just find each other and go back at it until the issue has been resolved. As a parent who never wants to see her offspring in pain, I have to judge how far to let this go (Yelling in the face? Fine. A knuckle up the other's nostril? Cause for a time-out). Part of me wants to stop them from causing the other any pain at all, part of me wants them to learn to work things out on their own. Since I was not around when Mr. Cool was this little, I have to assume this is normal boy or twin behavior. Still, it's a little unnerving to watch my little angels undergoing their struggles for independence, both from me and from one another. Our days are suddenly full of battles- whether for toys or attention, over transgressions real or imagined- it makes for crazy days. Luckily, at the end of the day all of the boo-boos have been kissed, all of the fights have been forgotten, and my two little boys fall asleep contentedly within arm's reach of one another, dreaming sweet dreams.

Monk and I fall exhaustedly into bed at the end of each day too, a little more battle worn, a little smarter (remote controls placed up high one night, knowledge that the "orange cup" is the favorite and causes all-out brawls no matter the contents the next).

And so it goes. Until the next morning...

Mommy the Sleep Nazi

So,the boys are six months old now, and last week after a series of events (one of which was me dissolving into tears because I couldn't open a jar of pickles... can you say 'sleep deprivation?'), I decided that feeding-on-demand was just not working for us any more. The boys were up at night eating- I kid you not- five to seven times every night. Even the pediatrician was floored. And, of course, they hardly ever awoke at the same time. So I spent a few days and used every waking moment I had available (and I have to tell you, I don't have a whole lot of them) to research babies and sleep, sleep training and schedules.

With the Princess, she created her own schedule of sorts pretty early on- I know we certainly didn't put her on one, but she awoke, ate, played, and napped at the same times each day. I never realized how wonderfully lucky we were until now. And truth be told, I think each boy would do the same, but the times they "want" to do things do not coincide- and to keep Mommy out of the big building with the padded rooms and the nice men in the white coats, it looks like they need some help coordinating their schedules.

So I read, I researched, I took notes, I planned. I tried to talk it over with Monk but at the first mention of the phrase "sleep training" and "schedules" his eyes glazed over and he started to steal glances at the tv while I was talking... so I worked on developing a plan and Wednesday night was the first night of putting that plan into action. A lot of it I took from a, uh, "borrowed" copy of the Sleep Sense Workbook (Dana Obleman's program- pretty awesome, I'm still looking for a copy of that ebook to thumb through). The idea is to teach the boys how to fall asleep without needing any help- like the bottle they've been jonesing for in the middle of the night (my fault). So a few nights ago the boys went to bed after a "bedtime routine" (something else I've never been big on- I don't know what it is, but give me a rule, even one I institute myself and something inside me yearns to break it), and since they are both a very healthy weight, they don't "need" to eat overnight. So I decided no more nighttime bottles. And what's more, I carried it a step further and created a schedule for them for the daytime where they only get three 8 ounce bottles a day. And I know it's early, they've only been on this new schedule for less than a week, but...

They are doing AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!

I really thought they were going to protest a lot more and insist on having a bottle to be soothed back to sleep, but apparently I have totally underestimated the power of my singing the ABCs. From the time I put them down at around 7pm til about 3am the first night, all I had to do to help one twin go back to sleep was hug him, pat his back, and croon the ABC song. I think it's fair to say I was totally shocked at how much easier it was than I thought it was going to be. True, I had to totally throw out my idea of not picking up the twins (I figure we get away from the bottle first... baby steps, so to speak).

On the other hand, I don't know what happened after 3am. Maybe I just hit a wall myself, too tired to comply with my own rules, or maybe it's because both boys woke up at the same time and I was just too flustered (and sleepy) to think straight. But at that 3am wake up is when I caved and both boys got a bottle of watered-down Pedialyte, and I brought someone to the couch to snuggle with me. By that time the Monk was also up, and he took a baby until he left for work. But I still am considering it a MAJOR success, especially since the rest of the day went so well also.

They have really taken to the whole schedule thing (apparently they haven't gotten their Mommy's rule-breaking impetus). They seem very content, despite the fact that they are eating, not kidding, more than ten less bottles per day than they used to. We're still finding our way, and I suspect we will be for awhile still, but knowing that there's a light at the end of the tunnel has done wonders to improve my outlook on things... six solid months of sleep deprivation is a looooong time (Abu Grahib's got nothing on moms of multiples, let me tell you). Hopefully the overnights start going smoother, and they start staying asleep for longer stretches and being able to soothe themselves back to sleep in the middle of the night.

As I write this, the boys are napping!!! Praise GOD! :)

Hard to believe we went from the first photo to the second in the short space of one week!!!

Sanity Optional

As this is my first post, let me get a few introductory remarks out of the way. I'm a thirty-something mom to an almost-three-year-old princess and three month old identical boy twins (whom I affectionately refer to as Thing One and Thing Two). I'm also a stepmom to an incredibly smart and talented 16-year-old young man, (calling him a boy no longer feels appropriate) who I'll call "Mr. Cool" and I'm a usually loving, sometimes cranky wife to my dear husband who I have nicknamed, "Monk" (more on that later). My life seems to have more than the usual level of craziness in it since the twins were born, and my goal with this blog is to share some of our daily insanity with all of you in cyberspace with the hope that you might glean something from it (birth control?) and I can have a place to let off a little steam without causing bodily injury. Since the people mentioned above take up most of my waking (and a healthy portion of what should be my sleeping) hours, this might very well be the only post you ever read. In case that's true, let me make this one worthwhile... some anecdotes from my life staying at home with three kids, all still in diapers (more or less).

We get up between 7 and 8am. By "get up" I mean I have finally fallen asleep after the twins' last feeding, probably around 6ish, and I groggily open my eyes to my little Princess peering at me from next to me on the makeshift bed I have created on the floor of our living room (more on that later, too). Since the boys eat every 2 hours or so (and sleep in between on a good night), needless to say I would love to be heading straight for the coffee pot. Unfortunately, shortly after the boys were born I was diagnosed with a stomach ulcer, which means no coffee for me (and since I have been the ulcer route in the past, with some disastrous results, I actually heed the doctor's advice). Hopefully at this point the boys are sleeping through my discussion about breakfast choices with the Princess (pretty much the same every morning- apple, banana, or cereal) and also my saying no to the whining for verboten items she asks for (M&Ms, popsicles, fruit snacks). Once she has her fingers wrapped around an apple slice dunked in peanut butter, I can finally escape to the bathroom to power pee. Inevitably, this is when Thing One (or Thing Two) will awaken (and wail- loudly) and the Princess will start to chant, "The baby's crying, the baby's crying, the baby's crying!" One of the two will wake up the other baby, who will also start to wail. My daughter's chanting will ramp up a beat so I start to hear, "Thebaby'scryingthebabyscryingTHEBABY'SCRYING, MAMA!!!"

And this is where I commit my first bad mommy sin of the day. I let them cry. All of them. I don't dawdle, but I take the time to take my pills, get something to drink (usually water in the absence of being allowed to indulge in hot, caffeinated goodness), and something I can eat with one hand (crackers, bowl of cereal, freeze dried fruit). I put some milk in the bottle warmer. And THEN I pick up a wailing infant and start with the diaper-changing, clothes-changing, baby-talking, baby-feeding portion of the morning. And I have to admit, I don't really feel that badly about it.

Okay, so I feel a little bad. Part of me wishes I could pick them up whenever they so much as hiccupped. Another part of me is more realistic, and knows that I didn't even do that for my daughter as a baby, knows that it's good for kids to try to learn to soothe themselves, and knows that I am doing the best that I can.

Still... it kind of sucks. Listening to your kids cry and not being able to help them, for whatever reason (even if that reason is you want a Pop-Tart). But that's pretty much how the rest of my day goes- someone always needs me- usually at the same time as someone else- and I need to choose who I pay attention to first, and who can wait. Unfortunately, I have to admit, my older daughter seems to get the shaft in this situation a lot since the twins arrived. She's been pretty good about it, but she's still just a little girl (no matter how much older or more capable she may seem in comparison), and it's starting to wear on her. I try to give her some special time together whenever I can- when I run errands sans babies, or if the boys happen to nap at the same time (although when they nap at all it's cause for celebration). All in all, I think she's adjusting to life with twice the number of brothers she previously had pretty well.

And speaking of her older brother- my stepson- she adores him. Absolutely worships the ground he walks on. And Mr. Cool is excellent with her. He was just here for almost a week, visiting over the holiday, and it's always great to have him here. We love seeing him, of course, but the Princess- just mention her older brother and her whole face lights up. He travels back and forth between here and his other home on the train, and the Princess is fond of saying, "Brudder is on the train? I go see brudder on the train, Mama!" I hope her love for him only grows as they get older.

The little ones are up and about again... not that they haven't been while I've been writing this post, but there's a limit to what I can do while typing (never mind trying to sustain the same train of thought while listening to my daughter's latest Curious George tale). Hopefully I can find the time to write again before the boys start college...